Feeling Positive

I was convinced to do a positive list. It’s a list of all the good things you like about yourself. Apparently it is not a good idea to concentrate on the negative things you don’t like….something I always did. Apparently you have to accept and love yourself the way you are and then you can grow from there. Or so I’ve been told.

So I did my positive list and it was a lot of fun. I liked thinking about my good things instead of my bad. Just making the list put me in a happy mood. And then I asked a good friend what he thought and he gave me a few more items for my list. His items were very nice and made me smile. It was nice that he saw all these good qualities in me while I was picking away at my less than girly wardrobe, bad hair days, temper…ok not allowed to think of these any more. Just the happy happy joy joy things.

Anyway I was told it takes about 6 months for this to become a pattern. So I’m going to try it. I have my positive list and I will see if I can think about these good things instead of the bad and accept myself as I am and see where it goes from there. I will keep you posted on any progress I make. In the meantime I’d suggest this activity to everyone. It’s a nice way to see yourself in a positive light. And if you have a BFF or boyfriend you can ask them too and get more input and maybe form a closer relationship in the process.

Cat “Sending Positive Vibes” Cathy

On The Line Dating

As I blogged about before I am single and using online dating services. I like it as a way to meet people you may not meet otherwise and have more options on who to date. While I work, blog, sleep and play my dating profiles are out there working for me. I met my last three boyfriends online so it has pretty much become standard practice for me now. As an ‘expert’ I thought I’d share some of my advice to other women looking for love:

-Ignore the large cut and paste emails that say generic things and include summaries of what is already in their profile. Instead concentrate on the emails that seem more genuine and personalized. I believe a guy who is really looking is going to do a search and narrow down the choice to a few good women and then send out a few emails. Mass emailing to see who replies is lame and impersonalized IMHO.

-I usually do not do searches for guys. I wait for them to contact me. At times I’ve gotten disappointed and did my own search and emailed or winked. My response rate is about 1%. You would think I was contacting Brad Pitt types based on my bad return…but I wasn’t. If I see someone I really think I’d like the most I will do now is wink or a quick note just in case. But responses are rare and try not to take it personally. I tell myself I’m just not what they are looking for and I want a guy who digs me and wants me.

-I don’t like to waste a lot of time emailing and then texting and then talking on the phone and then finally meet. You really don’t know what you are getting into until you meet so I just prefer a few quick emails, then one phone call and then a date. The profile is just a way to see if they meet your basic requirements and you won’t know if you are attracted or intrigued until you meet. It’s sad to get your hopes up and then meet and realize they are nothing like what you imagined in your head or what their profile led you to believe.

-When you make the first call try to schedule a first date if you still want to meet after you have talked for a bit. I’ve had hour long conversations and they seemed to go well. At the end of the call we’d decided to talk again since a date wasn’t able to be scheduled. Not many of these potential matches ever called back. So schedule the date during the first call and make it within a few days of the call if at all possible.

-First dates should be very simple due to not having a clue what you are getting in to. I recommend a lunch. That way you meet in a public place and there is no pressure to spend more than an hour together. If it goes well and he seems safe then you can plan more elaborate future dates.

-If he suggests more of a meet and greet with a coffee or drink I’d probably skip. To me that means he is not very interested. If he really thinks you are what he is looking for he will be open to at least a lunch meeting.

-If you meet and you are not sure and he calls for a second date I say go for it. Sometimes people are nervous or just not having a good day. As long as you were undecided a second date is a good idea. If you know there is absolutely no way you would be interested than skip the second date but otherwise take a chance.

-I say let him plan the first few dates. This is a time where he should be wooing you. You just need to show up, have fun, be yourself and be nice.

This is my best advice and I hope it helps some of the women out there. Of course I am still single so maybe I’m not the best person to be giving advice. Guys feel free to let me know if you have any input or your own guidelines.

Cat “Wink Wink Nudge Nudge” Cathy

Wave Dazed

2010 has been a lame year for vacations but I did manage to take a short trip to Virginia Beach Virginia for a stand up Jet Ski event called Wave Daze. The event is called a ‘Freeride’ so basically lots of stand up riders meet to ride together and show off and have fun but it’s not a competition.

Even though I was there for the Jet Ski event I didn’t want to spend the whole time jet skiing. The first day was cold, dreary and rough water so I decided to explore a bit instead of getting wet. The Neptune festival …whatever that is…had taken place the weekend before so there was lots of awesome sandcastle art work. I was really impressed with the Neptune Sandcastle but I can’t help but wonder if giving him bunny ears in my picture upset the god of water just a wee a bit and caused our rough water weekend.

After the sand castle viewing I put on my inline skates and went out to explore. Virginia Beach was pretty but very touristy with nothing but T-shirt shops, hotels and restaurants. While exploring I noticed odd signs at almost every intersection that seemed to be saying ‘no cursing’. I found out later that I was correct and the city several years back had made a no cursing law and actually enforced it. Much like getting a speeding ticket on a bicycle the thought of getting a cursing ticket was almost appealing to me as a way to have bragging rights with my friends. I wondered how this law was enforced. What if you cursed in another language…would they know…could they still ticket you? Enquiring minds want to know. I was thinking I’d learn some obscure bushman curse words and be able to skirt the system that way. Plus the whole idea of a town that doesn’t like cursing but it’s ok to buy t-shirts that say “My Pen Is Huge” and “The person wearing this shirt is an emergency worker just lay on your back and do whatever he tells you” seems like an odd contrast and a wee bit hypocritical to me.

I spent a lot of time in my skates exploring and blading up and down the boardwalk. Thankfully it was off season since I heard it gets really crowded during season and I wouldn’t have been able to skate like I did. There was a really strong north wind so the skate out was hard but the skate back was way too easy. I wish I had my gps since I’m sure my speed was approaching mach 1. I would use my skates often during the long weekend to get around and explore and I even had a chance to do a night skate thanks to the ample lighting on the boardwalk.

I was intrigued by the free hugs t-shirts for sale. I’ve watched the YouTube videos on this and was quite taken by the kinship it showed so I bought a bunch of them for all my girlfriends. I’m just hoping they lead to a fun experience and not some rude comments like ‘what else do you do for free’. I’ll keep you posted on the outcome of those t-shirts.

Since the weekend was on the beach some kite practice was in order. I flew at night one time. It was my first night time flight experience and I liked it since I didn’t have to stare directly into the blazing sun like I usually do. I flew one day too and the wind was perfect. I was being dragged on my feet through the sand 10 feet or so and it was a great upper body workout. I’m still a long way from being an expert in this sport but I did feel more confident than most of my flying experiences.

And finally since it was a Jet Ski event I borrowed one and thrashed in the waves for a bit. The waves were rough and the ski was set up differently than I am used to but it was still a blast, I didn’t get hurt and I didn’t break the ski. So I’d consider that a good day of riding!

Cat “Dazed and Confused” Cathy

Circus School

As part of my ‘try everything once’ philosophy I recently ran away to join the circus. Ok not really but I did start circus school and I liked it so much I now attend almost weekly. I’m learning aerial silk. You can see what it is in the pictures but basically it is a sexy upper body workout with a fun height component to it.

I’ve met several other girls doing this new hobby of mine. They all seem very sweet and it’s nice making new friends. I’m probably old enough to be the mother of most of them but so what, I’m glad I’m still healthy enough to enjoy fun activities like this.

Our instructor is sweet in a boot camp sort of way. She is Russian and I think she was born into the circus industry since she mentioned 6 hour days training on the aerial silk. I get a kick out of her strong Russian accent as she tells us ‘you must stretch more’ and then she sits on your back to help. Since it’s supposed to be artistic she tells us ‘point your toes’. I’m still just struggling to hold my weight and pull myself up so I’m not really too worried about pointed toes and being pretty at this stage.

It’s way fun and I love having something new to learn and look forward to. Take a chance and try something new too!

Cat “Hanging Around” Cathy