On The Line Dating

As I blogged about before I am single and using online dating services. I like it as a way to meet people you may not meet otherwise and have more options on who to date. While I work, blog, sleep and play my dating profiles are out there working for me. I met my last three boyfriends online so it has pretty much become standard practice for me now. As an ‘expert’ I thought I’d share some of my advice to other women looking for love:

-Ignore the large cut and paste emails that say generic things and include summaries of what is already in their profile. Instead concentrate on the emails that seem more genuine and personalized. I believe a guy who is really looking is going to do a search and narrow down the choice to a few good women and then send out a few emails. Mass emailing to see who replies is lame and impersonalized IMHO.

-I usually do not do searches for guys. I wait for them to contact me. At times I’ve gotten disappointed and did my own search and emailed or winked. My response rate is about 1%. You would think I was contacting Brad Pitt types based on my bad return…but I wasn’t. If I see someone I really think I’d like the most I will do now is wink or a quick note just in case. But responses are rare and try not to take it personally. I tell myself I’m just not what they are looking for and I want a guy who digs me and wants me.

-I don’t like to waste a lot of time emailing and then texting and then talking on the phone and then finally meet. You really don’t know what you are getting into until you meet so I just prefer a few quick emails, then one phone call and then a date. The profile is just a way to see if they meet your basic requirements and you won’t know if you are attracted or intrigued until you meet. It’s sad to get your hopes up and then meet and realize they are nothing like what you imagined in your head or what their profile led you to believe.

-When you make the first call try to schedule a first date if you still want to meet after you have talked for a bit. I’ve had hour long conversations and they seemed to go well. At the end of the call we’d decided to talk again since a date wasn’t able to be scheduled. Not many of these potential matches ever called back. So schedule the date during the first call and make it within a few days of the call if at all possible.

-First dates should be very simple due to not having a clue what you are getting in to. I recommend a lunch. That way you meet in a public place and there is no pressure to spend more than an hour together. If it goes well and he seems safe then you can plan more elaborate future dates.

-If he suggests more of a meet and greet with a coffee or drink I’d probably skip. To me that means he is not very interested. If he really thinks you are what he is looking for he will be open to at least a lunch meeting.

-If you meet and you are not sure and he calls for a second date I say go for it. Sometimes people are nervous or just not having a good day. As long as you were undecided a second date is a good idea. If you know there is absolutely no way you would be interested than skip the second date but otherwise take a chance.

-I say let him plan the first few dates. This is a time where he should be wooing you. You just need to show up, have fun, be yourself and be nice.

This is my best advice and I hope it helps some of the women out there. Of course I am still single so maybe I’m not the best person to be giving advice. Guys feel free to let me know if you have any input or your own guidelines.

Cat “Wink Wink Nudge Nudge” Cathy

Wave Dazed

2010 has been a lame year for vacations but I did manage to take a short trip to Virginia Beach Virginia for a stand up Jet Ski event called Wave Daze. The event is called a ‘Freeride’ so basically lots of stand up riders meet to ride together and show off and have fun but it’s not a competition.

Even though I was there for the Jet Ski event I didn’t want to spend the whole time jet skiing. The first day was cold, dreary and rough water so I decided to explore a bit instead of getting wet. The Neptune festival …whatever that is…had taken place the weekend before so there was lots of awesome sandcastle art work. I was really impressed with the Neptune Sandcastle but I can’t help but wonder if giving him bunny ears in my picture upset the god of water just a wee a bit and caused our rough water weekend.

After the sand castle viewing I put on my inline skates and went out to explore. Virginia Beach was pretty but very touristy with nothing but T-shirt shops, hotels and restaurants. While exploring I noticed odd signs at almost every intersection that seemed to be saying ‘no cursing’. I found out later that I was correct and the city several years back had made a no cursing law and actually enforced it. Much like getting a speeding ticket on a bicycle the thought of getting a cursing ticket was almost appealing to me as a way to have bragging rights with my friends. I wondered how this law was enforced. What if you cursed in another language…would they know…could they still ticket you? Enquiring minds want to know. I was thinking I’d learn some obscure bushman curse words and be able to skirt the system that way. Plus the whole idea of a town that doesn’t like cursing but it’s ok to buy t-shirts that say “My Pen Is Huge” and “The person wearing this shirt is an emergency worker just lay on your back and do whatever he tells you” seems like an odd contrast and a wee bit hypocritical to me.

I spent a lot of time in my skates exploring and blading up and down the boardwalk. Thankfully it was off season since I heard it gets really crowded during season and I wouldn’t have been able to skate like I did. There was a really strong north wind so the skate out was hard but the skate back was way too easy. I wish I had my gps since I’m sure my speed was approaching mach 1. I would use my skates often during the long weekend to get around and explore and I even had a chance to do a night skate thanks to the ample lighting on the boardwalk.

I was intrigued by the free hugs t-shirts for sale. I’ve watched the YouTube videos on this and was quite taken by the kinship it showed so I bought a bunch of them for all my girlfriends. I’m just hoping they lead to a fun experience and not some rude comments like ‘what else do you do for free’. I’ll keep you posted on the outcome of those t-shirts.

Since the weekend was on the beach some kite practice was in order. I flew at night one time. It was my first night time flight experience and I liked it since I didn’t have to stare directly into the blazing sun like I usually do. I flew one day too and the wind was perfect. I was being dragged on my feet through the sand 10 feet or so and it was a great upper body workout. I’m still a long way from being an expert in this sport but I did feel more confident than most of my flying experiences.

And finally since it was a Jet Ski event I borrowed one and thrashed in the waves for a bit. The waves were rough and the ski was set up differently than I am used to but it was still a blast, I didn’t get hurt and I didn’t break the ski. So I’d consider that a good day of riding!

Cat “Dazed and Confused” Cathy

Circus School

As part of my ‘try everything once’ philosophy I recently ran away to join the circus. Ok not really but I did start circus school and I liked it so much I now attend almost weekly. I’m learning aerial silk. You can see what it is in the pictures but basically it is a sexy upper body workout with a fun height component to it.

I’ve met several other girls doing this new hobby of mine. They all seem very sweet and it’s nice making new friends. I’m probably old enough to be the mother of most of them but so what, I’m glad I’m still healthy enough to enjoy fun activities like this.

Our instructor is sweet in a boot camp sort of way. She is Russian and I think she was born into the circus industry since she mentioned 6 hour days training on the aerial silk. I get a kick out of her strong Russian accent as she tells us ‘you must stretch more’ and then she sits on your back to help. Since it’s supposed to be artistic she tells us ‘point your toes’. I’m still just struggling to hold my weight and pull myself up so I’m not really too worried about pointed toes and being pretty at this stage.

It’s way fun and I love having something new to learn and look forward to. Take a chance and try something new too!

Cat “Hanging Around” Cathy

Ometepe Island Nicaragua - The End of Our Adventure

Our final stop in Nicaragua was Ometepe Island. A pretty figure 8 shaped island with a volcano on each end located in Lake Nicaragua. The only way to the island is by ferry and it is a must see for any trip to Nicaragua in my not so humble opinion.

The island was beautiful and lush…from the active volcano I assume. The only thing that could have made this place prettier would be clearer water. The water is just a brownish color and not the pretty blue hues you get in the ocean.

We rented motorcycles to explore the island for two days. We saw springs, hiked to a waterfall, saw lovely views of the volcanos from every angle and just enjoyed taking in the local color. Never have I felt safer on a motorcycle. There are very few cars on the island so all I had to worry about was other motorcycles, holes in the road, school children, pigs with piglets suckling, chickens, cowboys, farmers with machetes, rocks….I seriously did encounter all of these and at times it felt like it would make for a good video game but somehow this just felt like part of the adventure and added to the experience.

One night we were walking around one of the small towns feeling like we were on quite an adventure. Most people didn’t speak English and we didn’t speak Spanish. We had not hot water and our power would go out for an hour or so during the almost nightly storms. It was quite a rustic and foreign feel until we stumbled upon a bar and looked in the window. They had a television and it was playing an Orlando Magic basketball game! I was shocked and actually disappointed but also thought it was funny and reminded me of how small a world it actually is.

Another small world experience came when I ran over cow manure in another small village. I stopped to clean it off my bike before it could get on me and music was playing. Not native or local music but a sappy American love song from the 70’s. What a contrast this song was to my surroundings!

The people on this island were so friendly. At one point a man with a machete yelled at me. But it wasn’t an angry yell it was more of a ‘hey lookout’ best I could tell. So I asked my (now ex) boyfriend “honey, the nice man with the machete is yelling at me, should I stop?” We kept going but soon a whole village was yelling at me. I decided there must be some issue like a huge drop ahead so I better stop and see what all the commotion is about. It turns out my battery had come lose from my motorcycle and was flopping around. The cutest young teenager helped me tie up the battery so I could finish my ride while the whole village watched. It was the excitement for the day for us and it seemed for them as well.

Since the battery was just roped in it was no longer starting my motorcycle and I had to kick start it. Not a big problem but it was taking me a few times to get it going. At one point we stopped in the rain to decide how to get back to the hotel. I was having trouble starting my motorcycle and a local man got out of his truck in the rain and kick started it for me! I was shocked at this gesture and the friendliness of everyone on the island. I almost hate to go back since I’m worried with time they will become jaded from tourists and the nice feel I had there will be gone.

As a final note to our adventurous stay in Nicaragua we were stopped by cops yet again while on the way to the airport. At first we were nervous since we were running late but we finally figured out they wanted us to buy a ticket to something equivalent to the policeman’s ball. Well we would do anything not to miss our plane and especially since they were carrying big guns. As it turns out it cost about $2 for the tickets and we laughed saying it was a bargain at twice the price. And so ended the most extreme vacation I’d ever taken….I can’t wait to do it again!

Cat “Ometepe on my mind” Cathy

Personal Floatation Devices

PFD’s are normally associated with life vests but that’s what my friend and I call women’s implants. It seriously looks in many cases like they have two personal flotation devices ready to keep them bobbing with just their neck and heads above water.

Yes I’m being harsh but if I could take away one ‘invention’ of the world it would probably be these. It bothers me that there is so much pressure on women to look ‘good’ that they will undergo unnecessary surgery and then lug those bulky things around and possibly cause back problems.

This strong pressure to feel pretty comes from marketing companies who make you feel bad about yourself so you will buy crap. And it seems to me this pressure causes problems with body image and confidence in almost all women. This in turn causes problems in relationships. So we would all be better off if we could just accept ourselves in a natural state. Yes you should eat right and exercise and keep yourself clean but beyond that you should concentrate on more important things like knowledge, growth, helping others and being the best person you can and not just the one with the biggest ta-tas.

With regards to implants, I’d like to get to a point where women just say “no I’m not doing that, I have plenty to offer just the way I am”. I seriously think most guys are fine (and happy) with a woman’s natural body and the ones who would encourage you to risk your health and waste your money are probably not the right ones anyway.

Cat “A Cup and Happy” Cathy

Six Hours to Nowhere

I’ve mountain biked for many years now but I’d only raced once. That one race was such a disaster I never wanted to go again. I was in novice women and the other women were ridiculously fast. I would think novice should be for people like me who just race and ride a bit but these girls had been racing for years and must have rode all the time. I was so far behind and I didn’t know anyone so I was getting what I called ‘the pity clap’. Strangers were cheering me on with “you can do it number 658”. It was sweet but not as motivational as they might have thought. It kinda made me feel pathetic. So I decided I didn’t want to commit that much time and racing is just not for me.

Flash forward several years and I’m asked to do a 6 hour mountain bike race. This is a solo event but thankfully there is also a 3 person team category. So Team Spin Spin Sugars was born. We didn’t train except for our usual Tuesday rides and I had never ridden the actual race course. So as I took the baton from my fellow Spin Spin I headed off into 10 miles of undiscovered country. I was told the trail was a ‘blue’ which is only somewhat technical. So I went full speed even in areas that looked to be highly technical. Thankfully my teammates didn’t steer me wrong and there was nothing more than a blue. It was still a bit scary heading full speed into some of the unknown drops. It was a brutal race since I couldn’t catch my breath on my first lap and since I had never ridden there before 10 miles felt more like 20. My second lap felt shorter and my breathing was ok but my legs felt like rubber since I sat for two hours in between laps.

Our not training paid off since we took 3rd in the all women’s division! After my lousy first race experience I never thought I’d get a medal in mountain biking so that it was exciting and fun to pose on the podium.

Will I do it again? Probably but I’m not going to make a lifestyle out of it. There are just too many other things on my bucket list.

Cat “Spin Spin” Cathy

Nicaragua - San Juan Del Sur

On the way to San Juan Del Sur we saw the Nicaraguan equivalent of mass transit. I just had to take a picture of 12 people AND a motorcycle in the back of a pickup truck.

We also stopped at a wind farm. It was amazing to pass an ox pulling a cart and then see a wind farm in the background. Talk about a contrast. But as an environmental engineer I was glad to see this cleaner form of energy being used.

San Juan Del Sur is about as touristy a town as Nicaragua gets (which is not very touristy). There are several restaurants on the water but it really didn’t seem to matter which one you picked since they all had the same food. I was totally bored and over the food in Nicaragua at this point. That was quite a disappointment since food is usually a fun part of any vacation.

There’s was new Jesus statue that was just built so we took a short hike to it so we could tell everyone we found Jesus on our vacation. We also did the typical zip lining and rode ATV’s to the beaches.

The highlight came when I found this holistic place and an American guy who said his wife did massages. I decided a massage would be a great idea but I was fresh off the beach and wanted to go home and shower first. So we set an appointment for about 6 pm. I cleaned up and was looking forward to my relaxing massage. When I arrived the quite place had been transformed into a loud dance club. The American guy said he had forgotten when he made my appointment that the back of the building is used as a dance club on Saturday nights. I decided to get the massage anyway. I expected his wife to be some hippie looking American too but she was a very big and very un-hippie looking Nicaraguan who didn’t speak English. So while I got my massage music was blaring just a few feet away. Somehow it was still a bit relaxing and a fun experience. My very first (and hopefully last) disco massage! Now there is something for the bucket list.

Next we head to our final Nicaraguan stop at Ometepe Island which was the highlight of the vacation.

Cat “Where’s a McDonalds?” Cathy