Because I’m Happy

The other day I was super happy.  This is not a big shock as I’m typically in a good mood but this was beyond my normal happiness level.  Did I win the lottery? Unfortunately no it wasn’t anything that epic.  Was I on some kind of special happy pills?  I’m a say no to drugs kind of person so that wasn’t the cause either.  In fact it wasn’t anything particular at all as far as I could determine. 

It was fun going through the day feeling so happy and energetic and I’d like that feeling more often.  It made me wonder what causes happiness.  The only difference I can see from the previous blah day to this happy day was I had enough sleep and water.  I really think it is hard to be happy when you are tired and having enough sleep and being well hydrated help you feel rested. 

There are other activities that make me happier including exercise, being outdoors, singing, being silly and spending time with friends.  So I do try to add these things to my life as much as possible. 

Doing good deeds for others who I feel are deserving also makes me feel good.  I wouldn’t want to give money to the “chef” who pretends his car broke down since I know he is a scam artist in Orlando but I’d gladly help a neighbor carry something upstairs.   Small acts like this are not difficult or time consuming and make me feel useful and happy. 

Also I think your mindset can play a big part.  Being grateful for what you do have can make you much happier than being critical of what you don’t.  Some days I look at my small dumpy apartment, no kids and blog that almost no one reads (sigh) and feel down.  But then the very next day I think of it as the a cool pad where I don’t have to mow a yard, time for myself since I don’t to care for kids and a blog that brings me joy since I thrive on the creativity.  Absolutely nothing has changed from one day to the next except my mindset.

If nothing else you can just thank your lucky stars you were born in a first world country in the 21^st century.  Imagine if you lived in some parts of the world like Haiti where women have to worry about being raped just trying to get water for their family.  Or if you were born a couple hundred years ago when there were no cell phones, cars, central air conditioner and people died from diseases that are now preventable.  When you look at it that way your life is pretty darn good!

I hope my random thoughts on happiness and gratitude have helped you (my three loyal readers) to have an awesome day and be able to look on the bright side of things. 

Cat “Don’t Worry be Happy” Cathy 

Happy Acro Anniversary!

It was one year ago today that I had a yoga overdose.  I met a friend for a regular old outside yoga class.  Afterwards we stayed for a special laughter yoga class.  That was fun and silly and may have held a more special place in my life if it wasn’t for what came next.   As we finished our laughing we saw a bunch of crazy people doing super cool aerial gymnastic yoga type moves.  These moves were done with two or more people, one of which was in the air.  It looked amazing, fun and scary all at the same time.

I so wanted to try but I didn’t know anyone and it looked like you had to have a partner and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to do any of it anyway.  I cans sometimes be a bit shy about approaching people but I was with a friend so I was slightly more confident and I really just had to know more about this.  So I somewhat bravely walked up to a couple and started asking questions.  The couple was sweet, very helpful and informative.  Not only did they explain that it was called acro yoga (acrobatic yoga) but they also took the time to do a few moves with my friend and I.  Before I knew it I was flying in the air doing the basic move called bird.  This felt awesome and liberating and exciting. Next thing I knew I was doing a bow pose 4 feet off the ground!  Next up was some odd moves on my back and then something with my shoulders on someone’s feet.  In the few minutes they worked with me I did several poses that I would have never thought I was capable of doing just minutes before.  I learned that I was called the flyer and the person on the ground is the base.  I was so excited and instantly hooked!  I joined the Facebook group immediately and watched a bunch of YouTube videos as soon as I got home. 

With so many other hobbies I don’t get to do acro nearly as much as I would like.  In the last year I’ve probably only played about 20 or so times.  But each time has been a great experience of meeting new people, learning more about the sport, challenging myself to improve, helping other newbies and  most of all having fun!   In the past year there have been some classes, some acro parties and many jams which is what we call it when acro monkeys (as we call ourselves) just want to get together and play.  There have also been a couple island acro camping weekends which were awesome and perfect for beautiful sunset acro pictures.  And I can’t forget the themed events where you dress in costume and do acro.  I have photos of Santa as my base which is super cool and sure to be next year’s Christmas card. 

I’ve learned a lot about the sport including the names of many different moves and how you should have your joints stacked which significantly reduces the weight for the base person.  I made a few new friends including one who is often my base and I’ve lost count of the number of acquaintances I’ve met.     

I’m not totally sure why I’m so drawn to acro.  I guess I like the artistic aspect as some of moves are beautiful to watch, especially when performed by very flexible people.  I like that it is often done outdoors which is always a plus in my book.  Also it is different from most of my other sports so it challenges me in different ways like being more flexible and graceful.  And it probably doesn’t hurt that random strangers like to stop and watch us and take our pictures.  It is kind of nice to get that attention and feel a bit like a rock star. 

Most sports I don’t remember when I got hooked but this one I surely do.  I’m happy to add it to my sports collection.  I now refer to the couple that helped me that first day as my acro mom and dad….which is a bit odd since they are like 15 years younger than me.

I’m still a beginner in this sport.  In the next year I hope to get more in to pops, whips and washing machines which are just cool terms for the next levels of new moves I can learn.  If you ever see this frenzy going on in your local park feel free to stop by and say hi.  Most acro people are friendly enough and will give you an introduction you won’t soon forget. 

Cat “Watch me Whip” Cathy

Happily Never After

I apparently spent way too much time as a kid reading and believing fairytales.  So many of these stories have a handsome prince and a white horse and love at first sight and of course a happily ever after ending.  All these fairytales seem to do is set women up for disappointment.  In my entire life I have yet to meet a single prince and I don’t even know anyone who owns a horse…not even a brown one.  When I eat apples all that happens is I get some nutrients and fiber in my diet.  My hair is slightly longer than shoulder length and at no time has it ever been down to my feet let alone several stories long!  And while I am quite the nap taker, I’ve never slept for 100 years. And finally I don’t own a single pair of glass footwear.  I feel like fairytales should be more realistic and modernized for the times.  So here’s a more realistic one:

Once there was a cute little girl named Cinderwhite Beautyrapunz.  She had low self-esteem from seeing way too many marketing ads that made her feel she wasn’t pretty enough since she didn’t wear tons of makeup or have the latest fashions.  Her mom and dad always seemed busy and working so she had very little one on one time with them growing up.  She realized they had to work to pay bills but it made her feel very lonely and she practically had to raise herself.  So one day when a man finally showed her some attention she thought she was in love.  It was nice to finally be noticed and feel special.  But the man had a junky job and therefore no money for traveling. He also had a few 

kids from another woman he’d knocked up many years before and seemed to have a bit of a problem with honesty and perhaps hit the bottle a little too much too.  They dated a while but the kids took all of their dad’s attention and time.  There wasn’t enough of him to go around so again Cathy…oops I mean Cinderwhite Beautyrapunz felt all alone and like there was no one special for her.    After a few years of trudging along she finally broke it off.  Luckily she had a good job, lots of friends and lots of hobbies.  So she lived happily ever after enjoying blogging, traveling, mountain biking and many other activities with her friends and an occasional non-prince non-horse riding man who would come along.  But it wasn’t love at first sight and definitely not happily ever after and sometimes he even had bad breath.

I hope this doesn’t sound too negative as it was meant to be tongue and cheek.  Here’s hoping everyone does find their prince or princess but realizes that they are only human and have faults too. 

Cat “Sisters Grimm” Cathy

Wild Wild West Adventure

Zion Canyoneering 

I’m a collector of hobbies, especially sports and apparently I was overdue to add to my collection. So my latest hobby is… drum roll please ….canyoneering!  What is canyoneering you may ask?  Well it’s like mountaineering except you are working your way through canyons.  I like to call it a hike on steroids since you hike but then you often have to down climb, rappel and problem solve to work your way through a canyon. I’d canyoneered before but only on tours where the guides do all the work and you basically just say “weeeeee this is fun”.

You would think these tours would be enough for a Floridian but I wanted to be able to tie the knots, know the name of my equipment and do it all myself.  So I took two days of training in North Carolina where I learned a lot including how to use a totem, figure 8 and carabiner (even though I kept calling it a cantilever).   I was amazed at how much I learned and figured I was ready to hit the canyons out west so I headed out for the annual Zion Canyoneering Rendezvous.  I decided an extra practice day might be a good idea which was a wise choice since I learned about double rope rappels, critters, piranhas and so many other things with odd names that were brand new to me.  I guess they do things differently out west.  My mind was full and a wee bit confused but it eventually came together that there are just many ways to skin a cat… or in this case, rappel a canyon.

North Carolina Canyoneering 

Finally after all the training in NC and at Zion I was ready for my first day in a real canyon.  ‘Some guy’ named Tom Jones was offering to lead a group on Tom’s Secret Canyon called Fiddle Me This.  I signed up since I’d heard he was somewhat of a legend in the canyoneering world but I didn’t know why.  Well it turns out he wrote the Zion canyoneering guide book so I really lucked out.

This ended up being one of the most extreme days of my life!  We were doing something called ghost canyoneering so we wouldn’t leave any trace (anchors, ropes, bolts) behind.  This adds another lever of difficulty that I was perhaps not quite ready for.  Just the day before in training they asked us if you can use another person as an anchor.  My answer was no.  This seemed ludicrous to me!  But then the instructors (they were awesome btw) told me that yes you could indeed use another person as an anchor.  At the time I was shocked but figured it was no big deal as I would be using nice strong safe trees for my anchors thank you very much.  But then came this ghost canyoneering with Tom and the first thing we had to do was a 200’ rappel on a meat anchor!  Luckily our meat anchor happened to be a somewhat beefy (pun intended) man of about 220 pounds which helped calm me down just a bit.  Later that day I would actually become the meat anchor for a much shorter rappel and then down climb while the people I anchored tried to make sure I didn’t fall.  This was crazy stuff for a flatland Floridian!

As if the meat anchor wasn’t enough there was another surprise in store for me.  On training day I saw a small piece of plastic about 1 inch thick and 6 inches long.  This piece of plastic called a Fiddlestick is used to make an anchor fail so you can retrieve the rope and leave no trace.  Essentially you are a putting your life in the hands of ten cents of plastic material (which costs much more since it is canyoneering specific).  This is the one time I was thankful that plastic has a long shelf life.  


After our first two rappels we put on our wetsuits for the remainder of the trip since there were many wet sections.  We continued down the canyon doing everything we could not to leave any trace of our adventure.  At one point in Tom’s secret canyon we wanted sand for an anchor but the sand had been washed out in the last storm so we had to walk a bit back up the canyon and carry a large trunk of a tree down and wedge it in the canyon.  Shivering a bit in my wetsuit in the shade of the canyon I couldn’t help but smile a bit at the extremeness of it all.  This is what I wanted when I got in to the sport and it reminded me of the quote on Tom’s t-shirt: Canyoneering: sorta like fun…but different.


The secret canyon has three sections.  After the second section with so many things changed from the storm our guide Tom said we should stop since the next section may be really difficult.  No one in the group complained.  We’d been through a lot and we were sure Tom knew best.  But then a few minutes later Tom was like “well let’s give it a try”.  This did not give me a warm and fuzzy at all and it did end up being a very difficult section where we had to use a backpack filled up with air as a floatation device to help us climb out of the water.

After nine hours in the pretty yet often wet and cold canyon I was an expert with fiddlesticks and meat anchors.  Something I wanted to proudly share with my Facebook friends but was concerned over the inevitable dirty replies that would result.  I was exhausted but happy and extremely proud of myself for my accomplishment.  I’d wanted to do this for years and finally did it.  I couldn’t find any friends to go with me but I didn’t let that stop me.  Last minute a friend’s son decided to join me but I was already set on going no matter what.  I got the training, bought the gear and made it happen! And now I have some new canyoneering friends that I’m looking forward to seeing at the next rendezvous.

I Heart Canyoneering 

If you’re at all interested I definitely recommend trying canyoneering.  Do a guided trip first for your safety and see if you enjoy it.  If you have any interest that you’ve been putting off, make today the day you start on that adventure. You will feel proud of yourself for the accomplishment.  Go for it and good luck!

Cat “Meat Anchor for Hire” Cathy

Beaten, Battered and Black and Blue Equals Fun, Fit and Fabulous!

Yet Another Black and Blue Day Not Related to my Mountain Bike Story

I often come to work on Monday’s with a few bruises and sore muscles from my weekend warrior events.  Recently I was sporting a somewhat large black and blue mark on my arm from a mountain biking fall.  My coworker noticed my bruise and said “why would you do that to yourself”.  Well it wasn’t like I purposely bruised myself.  I was just out having fun, getting fresh air, enjoying nature, satisfying my need for speed and exercising when I had an oopsy daisy and fell.  There was very little pain involved at the time of the crash and burn.  The next day when I noticed the bruise I actually had to think back to where it happened. 

 

My sports and adventures make me happy, keep me fit and strong and make me feel truly alive.  So after being questioned on my lifestyle by a heavyset coworker I couldn’t help but think “Why would you do that to yourself”.  I will gladly take the bruises and sore muscles and yes even the occasional worse injuries I’ve had including a broken leg and a few torn tendons and ligaments.  At least these come with a side of strength, energy, happiness, pride and accomplishment.  Oh and a size 4 body too.   How she could let herself be so out of shape and overweight seems like a better question.  Of course I couldn’t say this as it would be politically incorrect so I just said it was fun and I feel strong and healthy.  My hope is to lead by example and maybe others will see and agree with my way of life.  If not that’s fine since we are all different but I don’t think others should criticize someone for a bruise or three.

 

Cat “Am I Blue” Cathy

 

 

 

Paris Part Deux

Paris day two started with a trip to the catacombs.  This is a highly rated tourist attraction which unfortunately means a long wait and it was a cold and dreary day.  My feel of being in an exotic far away world was ruined by the two hour wait with two young American girls in line behind me.  If I heard “I know right” or “OMG” one more time I was going to scream fermez votre bouche (shut your mouth)!   Thankfully I knew this expression well from my High School French Teacher.  I wanted to learn and practice my French but mostly just learned teenager talk and proper English due to the “please mind the gap between the train and the platform” recording which is transmitted over the speaker at every metro stop in proper Queens English of course.  In the end, the catacombs were just ok IMHO.  I would have liked a more adventurous illegal underground tour but I couldn’t find one.  What does one search for on the internet “illegal tours a la Paris”?  Besides, turning human bones into a tourist attraction seems wrong on so many levels.

Next thing I did was find the closest restaurant.  Unfortunately it was called The Americana or something like that but I was tired, cold and hungry and didn’t care.  A nice guy on his bicycle informed me I had to go inside if I wanted to order food and they only serve wine on the patio.  I was all prepared to figure out what I wanted to eat as I knew ‘poulet’ for chicken, ‘poisson’ for fish and ‘boeuf’ for beef, but the nice guy from the street actually came in to help me read the menu.  Now that was really sweet and one of many nice gestures I noticed that made me question the whole rude French thing I’d always heard.  Anyway, as the guy offered to help me I happened to notice the menu was in English so I thanked him but knew I could take it from there. 

The weather turned nice so I took out a bike from the Velib bike share which are located everywhere and did some biking around the city.  I love my sports and outdoors and this was much more pleasant than waiting in lines for junky tourist traps.  I biked to the Eiffel tower and by now the weather had turned almost perfect.  I just sat around eating my crepe and taking it all in.  That’s always such a nice experience to just be in the moment.  I must have looked like a Parisian since someone took my picture of me eating a crepe with my Velib bicycle and the tower.  I tried to dress like a Parisian which pretty much meant bland colors and somewhat conservative dressy clothes to me.  But it must have worked since they took my picture and I was asked on the subway for directions a few times and I was spoken to in French on a few occasions too.  I just think it would be funny if someone was showing off their ‘authentic’ Paris pictures and someone said hey that’s Catastrophe Cathy and she’s American. 

I was asked if I wanted to buy some Eiffel tower key chains at five for 1 Euro.  That took a few minutes and was pretty much the end of my gift shopping.  I typically don’t spend a lot of time shopping when I travel.  I sure hope the key chain recipients don’t read this …and if they do they remember “it’s the thought that counts”. 

As a side note, finding a bathroom is not easy in Paris.  Many establishments expect you to pay or be a customer.  There were some new public restrooms but they were perhaps the world’s most inefficient toilets serving maybe one person every few minutes. 

Cat “Bonne Nuit” Cathy

Paris in The The Spring!

My new year’s resolution was to start blogging again.  So I found my old half completed Paris blog and decided to complete it.  A year or so late but I still have fond memories of this adventure and I hope you enjoy it too!

I have lists of places I would like to travel but often I end up at a place I never intended just because someone invites me or the stars align or whatever.  Such is the case of my recent Paris trip.  I was invited by a Belgium Facebook friend to stay at her dorm in Paris.   She’s much younger than I am and I didn’t know her well since we’d just hung out a few times when she lived in Orlando the previous summer.  But I readily accepted her offer anticipating I’d do much of the exploring on my own since she would be busy with school and work.  This was a big step for me since I’d never traveled this far alone and especially not overseas to a different country when I really didn’t speak enough of the language to get by.  But it seemed like a fun adventure so c’est la vie!

I didn’t know much about Paris since the last time I was there was for a school trip in 1989.  So I did a bit of research for cell phones, ATMs, the Velib bike share program and many other things that didn’t even exist when I last traveled to the City of Lights.  I didn’t have much time to plan and I was nervous since I was traveling alone but everything went very smoothly.  I arrived at the Charles De Gaulle Airport, withdrew some euros from an airport ATM, purchased a sim card for my unlocked phone from an airport store and bought a carne of metro passes and one more expensive pass from the airport to downtown Paris.  All this took less than one hour.  (And it would be even easier today since my T-Mobile phone works in Paris without having to do anything. I love progress!)

My friend met me at the RER station and showed me my new home for the week.  I would be staying in her dorm room which was tiny even by my standards and I would also be sharing a kitchen.  After unpacking and catching up a bit with my friend, I ventured out alone to see what I could find.  I quickly rented a Velib bicycle from the Paris bike share program.  This was amazingly easy since I had already signed up for a one week membership prior to my travel.  I biked around my friend’s neighborhood and was amazed by the number of people and different ways to commute.  There were skaters, walkers, bikers, cars, scooters, a trolley and of course the metro with people coming and going all the time.  This was a big change from the much smaller city that I call home.

Seeing as I was still not recovered from travel and not familiar with the city I decided to eat a bit and call it an early day.  I found a pizza place and ate outside watching people go by.  I felt a bit lame getting pizza but I didn’t see any true French restaurants in the area and with my limited French speaking ability I chose a place where I could just point and sort of try to say the words best I could.  It was a delicious if not a typical French meal.  BTW I later discovered you don’t have to tip.  Tip and tax are already included in the price listed for a meal. You can leave a little extra if you like though. 

Day one was a “no big deal” day except for the excitement of this big adventure alone.  But travel days are never the highlight of the trip so stay tuned for my actual adventures in future blogs. 

Cat “Oh La La” Cathy

Hodgepodge

I’ve decided to reduce my clutter. I’m not throwing out my clothes or my mountain bike or even my old dishes. In fact I’m not talking about my physical possessions at all. It’s the virtual clutter that’s been bothering me as of late. I receive hundreds of emails a day and there’s no way I can or want to read and process all of them. So recently I went through my emails and started hitting that magical unsubscribe button. It feels good and I’m sure it will be a time saver in the future!

I started with all my special deal sites. There was a time when I thought Groupon, and the plethora of other discount sites that followed, were perhaps the best ‘invention’ since the stand-up Jet Ski (that’s high praise for me). But lately it seems they all offer the same junk that I don’t want. After all how many eyelash extensions and fitness classes does a girl need? The time I save not going through these countless voluntary advertisements will be worth the extra ten bucks it costs me every now and again.

After the deal sites I started targeting other regular emails. Somehow I was on a kickball email distribution list. I remember attending one game and being bored out of my mind so I had no intentions of going back. So bam that one’s gone and I can feel more weight lifted off my shoulders!

Next up was my Meetup.com emails. I’m a member of about 20 meetup groups and I only attend about one meetup per month. I don’t need to see what every group is offering every day. I guess this would be neat if I was some kind of control freak but alas I am not. If I have time I will go to the site to see what’s going on. If I’m busy then I don’t need to know. Ahhh more relief!

The unsubscribe process was basically easy and quick. For most emails you click on ‘unsubscribe’ and maybe ‘yes’ to verify and your work is done. This seems logical and acceptable. But then there are some that made me log in and then change user preferences. These really annoyed me. Chances are that if I don’t want your emails I don’t remember my password or even my user name. For these it was a bit more work but still worth it. And where possible I added a sweet little note about their annoying process.

From the outside my life may look the same but I feel a sense of ease knowing I will receive just a few emails per day. Perhaps someday this will make me feel lonely and not popular… but I doubt it.

Cat “Stay Subscibed to my Blog” Cathy

Salt Life

I recently purchased a Groupon for the Salt Room in Orlando. This is a place where you breathe in salt and it’s supposed to be good for your health. Basically you just sit in the room so you can breathe deep, read or nap. This seems ironic since I’ve always heard that salt is bad for your diet but apparently it doesn’t mess with your blood pressure when you just breathe it in. Anyway I love saving money, trying natural health cures and anything new so this was the perfect trifecta for me to try the salt room.

The staff is nice and professional if a little on the robotic side. The room holds up to 7 people and there’s calming music playing and the lights are turned down low during your 45 minute session. This place really helped me relax and put me in my happy place and I had some great naps here too. Only once in a while did I have someone in the room who was coughing which unsettled the hypochondriac in me and ruined my Zen experience.

I signed up for an unlimited month and went about 20 times. I actually felt worse after my first session but I thought maybe it was one of those ‘feel worse before better’ type of things. I could breathe better after my session I think but it wasn’t much of a difference. After a month of going I don’t really notice any improvement in my overall health and wellbeing. I’ve heard others talk about miracle cures for their COPD, allergies, asthma, bunions, etc. But it was a ‘no go’ for me except for a relaxing experience with some nice people who maybe shouldn’t share their medical problems so readily.

My recommendation is to try it if you think it could help your issues but wait for a special. The regular price of $45 for one 45 minute session is ridiculous! For that price I could pay for gas and tolls to the beach to breath in the beach salt spray and even include lunch and some lottery tickets just for fun! Even the one time special of $20 for 45 minutes seemed like too much. After all it’s just a room with salt blowing in the air. How much could that possibly cost to run?

I recommend drinking lots of water since the sessions tend to make you dehydrated. I’d also recommend the place have another restroom since there always seems to be a line. And finally I recommend reading Men’s Journal as it was the best magazine there.

Cat “NaCl” Cathy

What’s Up? I SUP!

I added a new acronym and new sport to my already overflowing list …ISUP. It stands for Inflatable Stand Up Paddleboard. If you go to almost any lake (in Florida at least) you will see people standing on oversized surfboards in the water. I’m not sure what the appeal is for paddle boarding. Maybe it’s just trendy and we will laugh about it in a few years. Maybe it’s the almost Jesus like feel of standing on the water. Perhaps it’s the attention you get since standing on the water makes you very visible. Or maybe it’s just a good excuse to be outdoors and on the water.

Many people know about the hard boards but don’t seem to know there is an inflatable option. If you are considering the two some of the benefits of an inflatable are ease of transport and less storage area. Some of the supposed negatives are the board is slower and less responsive but I didn’t have any issue with this. I am not out there to go fast, I just want to enjoy nature and I really didn’t notice any difference in speed anyway. For me it was an inflatable or no board at all due to my small apartment and I am happy with my choice.

I’ve used my board three times already. I’ve done yoga on my board, paddled in the gulf and most recently even had a rescue mission. I showed up at a local lake and a sit down Jet Ski was stuck in the middle of the lake with two guys. One didn’t want to get in the water and the other was having trouble trying to swim to shore with the Jet Ski. I told their friends half joking that I could rescue them in about 10 minutes and began to pump up my board. When I finished inflating the Jet Ski was still near the middle of the lake so I paddled over to them and offered to paddle them in if they held on to the back of my board. Talk about a good workout while I boarded (sitting of course) and pulled a jet ski and two men. But it worked and they were safely to shore and I was the heroin of the day! They promised to post nice things about me in their Facebook status and I asked to be referred to as “an angel named Cathy”. Plus they even tried to give me money which was sweet but totally unnecessary so my friend just told them to pay it forward. This is always a great idea I think.

So far I’ve enjoyed my ISUP but I’m still not sure it will have staying power. It gives me a reason to go to the lake and read and relax and watch the sunset. It feels like a mini vacation and as a benefit I get a little exercise and stretching thrown in. Only time will tell if it endures. If not I still have at least nine other sports to keep me entertained.

Cat “De Cath Lon” Cathy

Fifty Shades of Stupdity

I just finished reading Fifty Shades of Grey and I feel like a book review is in order. In short this book sucked….and I don’t mean that in the biblical sense. It seems the author (or publisher) had a good marketing scheme but not very good writing skills. I noticed several grammatical errors. While I’m sure I have errors in my blog as well, I expect slightly higher standards from a book that’s netted millions of dollars. It always amazes me when stupid things go viral. I guess this happens in our internet age but it seems sad that the best marketer wins out and not the best product. I refuse to believe this is the best erotic love story book on the market.

And why does the story suck you might ask? Well first the story just seemed too fake. I guess we read fiction to find escape but this was really out there. Little virgin Ana goes from having no man she’s ever been interested in and hardly kissed to a sex goddess who can have sex practically hundreds of times a day with no pain and no problems climaxing. Of course he was perfectly timed to finish with her or just after her. I swear if I read ‘finding his release’ or ‘empties himself’ one more time I was going to puke.

And while I’m at it, exactly where is ‘my sex’? I lost count of the number of times ‘my sex’ was mentioned in the book. Now I’ve heard of ‘sex’ used as a verb and to describe a male or female but never as a part of a woman’s anatomy. I tried to Google since I think this was an old expression but I learned quickly that putting ‘my sex’ in a search will result in many unwanted sites.

Friends who have read the book say they enjoyed the unconditional love and what a woman is willing to do for the man she loves. Unconditional hardly seems appropriate to me. Sure he’s a sadist and Ana is trying to meet his needs in that way but his money and gorgeous looks (which the author mentions every other sentence) make it hardly unconditional. It’s not like she fell in love with a fat, smelly, ugly street bum who also wanted to tie her up and smack her. Now that I would consider unconditional.

As a side note, I noticed a strange resemblance to the Twilight series. So I Googled yet again. I had much better results with this Google search and I found out the author was a fan and there is a resemblance. Personally, I’ve decided I prefer vampires over S & M men.

All this reminded me of a hash song (to the tune of The Candy Man):

Who can take his bicycle,

Take away the seat,

Put his girlfriend on it,

Ride her down a bumby street?

The S&M Man.

The S&M Man.

The S&M Man because he mixes it with love

And makes the hurt feel good.

Yes the hurt feel good!

Cat “Guilty Displeasure” Cathy

Balloon Girl Returns

"Faster than a wobbly grocery cart, more powerful than a feisty chiwawa, able to leap low track hurdle in a single bound."

"Look, up at the Plaza!"
"It's a bird."
"It's a plane".

"It's Balloon Girl!"

"Yes, it's Balloon Girl! Strange visitor from a dumpy apartment who came to the show with powers and abilities far beyond those of non inflated people. Balloon Girl, who can change the course of blimps, twist balloons with her bare hands, and who, disguised as Catastrophe Cathy, mild-mannered engineer and blogger, fights a never-ending battle for fun, silliness, and cool costumes."

Last Friday was the release of comic book #1 for Beebs and Her Money Makers featuring …Balloon Girl Girl Girl Girl (gotta love that echo). All the big names in super hero show business were there walking the red carpet. First Super Skunk Man arrived and stunk up the place. His superpowers include the expected nasty fumes, great artwork and a fatal attraction to cats. Then big hair man arrived. Boy I’d hate to be his stylist. Of course Balloon Girl showed up wearing her superhero garb fresh from Stark Enterprises. This year she wore blue and periwinkle since pink and purple are so last season. Typically Balloon Girl would fly down the red carpet using the helium in her cape but due to the helium shortage she just casually strolled in. Thankfully Balloon Girl’s arch nemesis Pin Man (who looks surprisingly like Pinhead in Hellraiser) didn’t show up. Although another nemesis Smoking Man was around and dangerously close at times…

Balloon girl had a fun night and enjoyed a great show. The music rocked and the Bee Gees’ cover was amazing. So keep your eye out for the big ‘B’ in the sky. Either there’s trouble brewing and Balloon Girl is needed or Beebs and her Money Makers are playing! Cat “Over Inflated Ego” Cathy

Lucky Ducklings

I saw a mother duck and her cute little ducklings the other day in downtown Orlando. It was a precious site and a reminder of the circle of life. These ducklings could have missed their chance in this world due to human intervention. In this case I’m not talking about tearing down habitat or shooting or anything like that. I’m talking about good natured but poorly informed people.

On not one or two but three occasions I’ve seen humans interrupting what appears to them as ducks fighting or hurting each other. They are assigning human characteristics to the ducks. They think they are helping which is sweet but it should be noted that ducks do not join gangs, rob stores and blatantly hurt each other. They are just doing what nature intended by challenging others in their mate selection.

So while it may be ok (depending on your value/belief system) to try and stop humans on a whaling ship from killing whales, please let ducks and other creatures take care of their own mating rituals. They know more than we do about mating it appears and how would you like it if some higher life form energized in from space and interrupted you trying to get your freak on.

Cat “Barry White” Cathy

Discount High

Hi my name is Catastrophe Cathy and I’m a Groupon-aholic. I swear I was just about to start my own addiction group for this. I’d get excited everyday when the new emails arrived from Groupon or Living Social or Amazon Local or Half Off or Restaurant.com or any of a plethora of other deal websites. I actually felt a high from the bargain purchase!

Thankfully, like many of my other short lived ADHD activities, this one appears to be coming to a slow down. I’m not going to stop completely but I’m definitely not buying daily like I was for a while. First off it seems there are only so many beauty, service and fitness things I need and I’ve already gotten my deals on them. Second off the hassle of what you have to go through to get the discount including not use it on certain nights or use it within a short time frame have made it much less appealing. I have enough stress in my life and I don’t need to complicate it with self imposed deadlines so I don’t miss out on a ‘deal’. And thirdly many of the items coming up lately don’t even seem to be much of a deal. They say 90% off the regular price but this ‘regular’ price is something ridiculous that no one in their right mind would pay. Also I’ve noticed that Groupon Goods (separate tab from their services) appear to be just a bunch of leftover junk and their so called bargain prices still appear to be top dollar.

I think the final straw to cure me was an email from Groupon to join some elite Groupon group that gets first dibs on new deals, can purchase some deals even after the deadline has been reached and a few other advantages that I’ve since forgotten. The cost was $30 per year. Granted this isn’t much but I joined Groupon to save money not to spend more!

The funniest thing in this new discount website phase is how dumb I think some business owners can be. There was a fitness dance class I liked. They charge $15 for one hour which I thought was a bit much so I asked the owner/instructor if she had any discounts. She said no since it was January and business was good due to people’s New Year’s resolutions. So I stopped going since I didn’t feel it was worth it even though I did enjoy the class. Fast forward two months and a fitness Groupon appears in my inbox. I am now getting 10 of these dance classes for 67 cents each and that money is split between Groupon, some third party fitness company and the dance studio! I would have gladly paid the dance studio $6-$8 per class and avoided the extra effort and the studio would have been making all the profit. I had a similar experience with a pole fitness studio and auto detailing service but I will spare you the details. Suffice to say that if a person wants to use your business but is asking for a discount it is probably better to give it to them directly than to have them get it through Groupon.

Best wishes to all getting their group on! But remember to see if it really is as good a deal as it sounds.

Cat “You Paid Too Much” Cathy

Where in the World is Catastrophe Cathy?

You may have noticed I haven’t been blogging as often these days. For a long time I was pretty consistent about my weekly blog. It was my way to get some entertainment type work as part of my life. A while back I decided what was most important to me and came up with health and fitness, friends, adventures, helping the environment and entertainment work.

The entertainment work was important to me since that seemed to be when I felt most alive and enjoyed work the most. Unfortunately my few soirees into the entertainment business only lasted a short time with things like roller derby skater, parade performer and podcaster. Finding entertainment work is not always easy so a simple blog was my way to keep the creative juices going and enjoy the high I get from entertaining while working on my writing skills.

This year I reviewed my priorities and decided entertainment work really isn’t as important as it once was. I guess I’ve finally outgrown my childhood dream of being a superstar. The practicality is that the entertainment business is difficult and most gigs don’t lead anywhere. I’ve lost count on the number of reality show applications I’ve done and all for naught. So I may still blog and do some stuff here and there but I’m no longer making it a priority.

Saving the environment has also dropped off my priority list. This doesn’t mean I’m dumping oil on the streets but I’m just not consciously devoting much time to it. I will still keep my reusable bags and other efforts to minimize my waste but no additional energy will be sent this way.

It’s good to reevaluate your goals and direction every now and then since life changes and priorities change. Adventure is still important to me as are friends and health. So I guess I will focus on these a bit more…for now at least.

Cat “Almost Famous” Cathy

Drugs are Bad Mkay

I hate modern medicine!!! It seems all they want to do is poke and prod and kill everything inside you. What ever happened to that whole “first do no harm” thing anyway? Actually, I Googled and it turns out it’s not in the Hippocratic Oath but something even better is: “I will prevent disease whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to cure”. And yet we seem to just come up with more and more drugs to cure symptoms instead of ways to stay healthy in the first place.
My disappointment with modern medicine started at a tender young age. I remember a doctor visit in my mid teens for my acne. As a teenage girl this is a very difficult thing to have. But I was reasonable and trusted my elders (naïve I know) and would have appreciated a good doctor telling me how to eat better and wear some natural foundations. But instead I got my first (of many) antibiotic prescription. These pills did absolutely nothing to cure my acne and caused many other health scares and problems.

Then there was the time I went to a doctor for a really bad sore throat that just wouldn’t go away. I guess the fact that I had good medical insurance hurt me since I was giving radioactive barium to drink while my throat was x-rayed. Then another visit to a specialist was ‘arranged’ to shove a camera through my nose to look at my throat. After these two lovely experiences I was told it was probably just stress. I’m sure the time and money for doctor visits and inconvenience of having stuff shoved up my nose didn’t do much to help my delicate ‘stress’ condition.

Next up we have my thyroid medication. For some reason my T something blood work was off and I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. This seemed unusual since I wasn’t overweight and was pretty active and hyper at times. But I was told I would need to take this medication for the rest of my life with the dosage constantly increasing. I begrudgingly started the meds but this made no sense to me as an otherwise healthy 20-something. So I started researching and trying natural remedies. I started a healthier diet, supplements, acupuncture and reflexology and lo and behold I started to feel better and even a little too shaky at times! I asked if I could reduce my dose due to the shaking but I was told no. So I did it anyway and eventually stopped taking the medication all together. My blood work from then on has shown my thyroid level to be just fine. Hmmm I guess they don’t know it all after all.

Next up was an x-ray or MRI or something from a regular doctor that showed a potential kidney problem. OMG my kidneys are bad what does that mean? It means I had to wait six weeks to get an appointment with the specialist and worry that whole time just to be told what I had was common and not a problem. Really? Then why the F was I there in the first place?

Next up we have a ‘doctor’ I was required to see for annual check ups for my job since it was considered hazardous work. ‘Doctor’ is in quotes since I still can’t believe he really graduated from medical school. I dreaded this visit every year. One time he tried to draw blood and couldn’t (in my skinny arm with ample veins showing) so he was digging around with the needle. This caused a big bump on my arm and he just pushed it back down and told me to keep pressure there and left the room. No one has ever had trouble drawing my blood before or since. My coworker had a friend working there and was told he said my veins were too small. I surely hope this was just a rumor and not actually something he said but I wouldn’t put it past him. The best part was he noticed my sinus problem and said he had a side business that could help me. What doctor has a side business??? On a good note I showed my severely black and blue arm to my boss. Between my complaint and several others we finally got a new place for our annual checkups.

Then my personal favorite that ties it all together. I was getting very gassy and bloated and it was painful. Id’ had digestive problems for a long time but this was even worse so I went to a GI doctor. The doctor was rude and pompous. He practically yelled at me since I was hesitant to get a colonoscopy. He actually said I have to get over my prudishness. So it’s prudishness not to want a cable shoved up my butt especially without trying some normal stuff first? I’m just fine now and how is that you might ask. Well I did some research and added more fiber to my diet. And most importantly I added some probiotics to counteract all the antibiotics I’d been given in my life. Of course this doctor didn’t recommend that and neither did any of the ones who prescribed the antibiotics.

Let’s not forget my recent hip injury. After a regular doctor visit, x ray, MRI and orthopedic visit all of which cost over $1,000 I was left with very little explanation of what was wrong or what to do to help it. I was told to ice, stop aggressive sports and do some physical therapy. I was already doing all of this as common sense. I asked what I did and I never even got a real answer. I was told I did some damage to a tendon in my hip. I could have told them that after all I heard it pop! They didn’t seem able or willing to tell me which tendon, how much damage or anything else. My favorite part was the orthopedic told me to come back in a month. You charged my $300 and told me absolutely nothing, why on earth would I ever go back?

Finally, the MRI for my hip found out I have a tumor on an ovary. So now I’m supposed to follow up on that with more MRIs, blood work and doctor visits. For now I’m just fed up and have named him Timmy the Tumor. I’m sure he is just visiting and will go away on his own with less stress than if I actually worry about it.

These are just the tip of all my bad doctor iceberg experiences with many different doctors in many different towns. I lost count of the amount of blood work, doctor visits and prescriptions I’ve had and yet they never once did anything to help my illnesses. I’ve had only slightly better results for my injuries since I did manage to have surgery on my broken leg that appears to be doing well.

Sorry if I went into too much detail and shared too much. I don’t normally do that but it was necessary for this blog. I think it’s true that your body heals itself and you just need to provide it with the nutrition and rest it needs to heal. So now I do yoga, eat healthy, exercise, take natural supplements and ensure a good social life to keep myself healthy. I still occasionally have doctor visits but I’m very hesitant about it and with good reason. Best wishes to all trying to heal and live healthy lives.

Cat “Just Saying NO!” Cathy

I'll Never Grow Up!

Sometimes I wonder what young me would think of mature…well I’m not so mature so…older me. I never became the famous actress –stunt women- athlete- rock star I dreamed about as a kid. But let’s face it, that’s pretty unrealistic. And my real life accomplishments of licensed professional engineer, pro am Jet Ski racer, professional roller derby skater and balloon artist are quite impressive in their own way.

It’s funny how some of my big accomplishments were not even things I thought about when I was younger. I became a balloon artist since I was bored and looking for a new hobby. With my balloons I have been able to entertain people at parties for years now and have made some great Halloween costumes. This is not something I predicted as a kid but I am sure glad it happened.

Roller derby is another thing I never predicted. I knew nothing about this ‘sport’ when I overheard a coworker talking about her sister doing it for an up and coming TV show. I said it sounded like fun but I remember telling her ‘too bad I’m too small’. Well it turns out I wasn’t too small and I ended up quitting my first engineering job to pursue this fun career. It only lasted two years before the show was cancelled but I have no regrets for trying and the adventure and growth and lifelong friend I received from it.

Most importantly I still daydream, smile often, enjoy being silly and have a youthful attitude and energy much like my childhood. I’m good to my friends and always learning and growing as a person. Plus I drive a fast and fancy car. I’d have to think young me would be pretty happy with all of this. And if not than “piss off you young immature girl” since I like who I am just fine…just kidding there.

So I guess that it’s good to remember what you dreamed of in your youth but also to realize you never know what life will throw at you. Grab whatever opportunities you can and enjoy! Here’s hoping you are who you want to be or at least on your way there!

Cat “I’m a Big Kid Now” Cathy

Barefooting

I bought some new ‘barefoot’ running shoes the other day. I know this sounds like an odd joke but its true. They’re running shoes that are ‘barely there’ (reminds me of bra adds) since the shoes are light and don’t really provide arch and foot support. If you’ve seen them you would probably remember since they usually have the individual toes cut out so they stand out as rather peculiar looking.

I’m always looking at new inventions and ways to waste my money and I’ve had my eye on these for a while. The theory is that you don’t need all the support we currently use and your feet and legs will adjust to the barefoot approach. This seems to go against the current belief that you need loads of support for all the pounding and impact. I did a lot of reading up on the two schools of thought and neither really seems conclusive so I decided to find out for myself.

It’s actually quite interesting in my case since I love to go barefoot or in flip flops when ever I can. But when I buy running shoes the store employees always tell me I have pronation issues really badly and needed some highly supportive shoes. They always bring out extremely old lady looking shoes that I would never wear. Thankfully they always seem to have one or two that look ok. So now I have extremely padded shoes and almost the exact opposite barefoot shoes.

One of the first things I did with my new shoes was show my neighbor. He was excited and a wee bit jealous since I had the new lace up type which weren’t even available in North America until a few weeks previous…or so he informed me. He’s a big fan in case you haven’t guessed that.

The barefoot shoe company recommends a 90-10 split so you can get used not having support. I assume this was provided for some kind of liability issue. Since I hardly ever run I wasn’t sure this applied to me but I used them for working out at the gym, some off road running and a recent ropes challenge/zip line day. They were comfy and a great conversation piece. They worked well on the ropes challenge since I felt like I could grip better until I got to a metal cable I had to walk across. That one hurt a bit as did a root I stepped on when I was running in the woods.

I don’t run often and the jury is still out for me on these shoes…much like all the articles I found about barefooting. I guess they just want everyone to decide for themselves. But my next challenge for them will be rock climbing.

Cat “Ten Toes” Cathy

I’m Smarter Than a Fifth Grader

I recently had a chance to do outreach for fifth graders and teach them a bit of engineering and science. I hadn’t prepared and I was more worried and uncomfortable about teaching this young age than the high school and college kids I’d spoken to in the past.

I planned on doing an old balloon experiment/trick my mom used to do with me when I was a kid. You put a balloon taped to a straw on a string then let go and watch it fly across the room. I remember this from my childhood but I didn’t know if it would stand the test of time. After all these kids had video games and computers and cell phones so what fun could a balloon on a string possibly be?

I arrived on campus with my string and duct tape to hold up the string. Somehow this struck me as funny and potentially hard to explain to authorities. But the ‘experiment’ worked well and was a big hit! It was a blast to teach young minds and I enjoyed the nostalgia from my childhood. I couldn’t wait to call my mom and tell her how well received her old science trick was.

The kids were adorable and I saw a few eyes light up when I explained the engineering behind the experiments and what I did for a living. I hope my small amount of time was enough to let them know Engineering is a career option and maybe encourage them to try it. Sometimes you just don’t know what your options are until someone informs you. So if you get the chance to teach young’ins I say go for it. It will be a fun day, good growth experience for you and I don’t think you can put a price on helping another person to learn and grow.

Cat “Class Dismissed” Cathy

It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I love the Christmas holiday season! I know for many people there’s a lot of stress due to money worries and buying gifts. But I find the best gift of all is the gift of time. So instead of getting presents for everyone I just do my group events and spend time with friends and family. It makes for a fun stress free holiday and brings in the true meaning of the holidays. It’s not about what you buy for someone and what they give you. It’s about spending time together, having fun, being good to each other and making memories.

I’ll pick up a few minor gifts for my closest BFFs but I’ll be spending most of my time away from malls doing the Santa stumble pub crawl, tacky Christmas outfit party, Christmas lights skates and bike rides plus many other fun outdoorsy adventures.

So think about your planned holiday activities. Are you enjoying the true spirit of the season? Does the season mean a new big screen TV or fun times with family and friends? I’ve made my choice and offer it here as an alternative to consider. But only you can decide what’s best for you and your family. Make sure its based on what you want and not what marketers have told you should want to be happy…after all they only make money by making you not happy with what you currently have.

Cat ‘Deck those Halls’ Cathy